SPLENDERED LOVE IS DEMANDING

By olivine Godfrey

A romantic ballad, popular years ago, contains a profound truth-- "Love is a Many splendered Thing". Can anyone who has known the miracle of love dispute that?

Love brings a luster to our lives. A hot-tempered individual may become patient under love's gentle power. Self-centered persons give themselves away and in return have greater selves given back to them. But, love is a costly thing. Who knows why? Rarely is there gain without some pain being borne, often by the innocent.

Love knows no limits to its endurance , no end to its trust. It does cost tremendously to continue loving someone who has wronged you. But, there is no way to know the splendors of love unless we can be forgiving. Doctors tell us that resentments, anger, refusal to forgive, poison our bodies as well as our minds. Someone said that forgiveness is surgery and surgery can hurt.

We all have the same needs but we vary in our ability to fulfill them. We all need to be loved and to love. In all its forms, friendship, mother and father love, family love, romantic love, this need drives us to continuous activity in search of satisfaction. From birth to old age, we need to be loved.
And throughout our lives, our health and happiness will depend upon our ability to love.

We also need to feel that we are worthwhile both to ourselves and to others. And the person who is loved will usually feel he or she is worthwhile. But, this is not always true. A child should be loved but love does not mean a blanket approval of everything he does. And, if a child receives approval for behavior which he knows to be wrong he isn't likely to feel worthwhile.

A beautiful and capable woman often finds herself in an uncomfortable position when she is only recognized for her beauty. So, an important part of fulfilling our need to be worthwhile depends upon the ability to see that being the object of someone's love doesn't in its self give us worth.
To be worthwhile we need to maintain a satisfactory standard of behavior. We should learn to correct ourselves when we are wrong and to credit ourselves when we are right.

A person who does not learn as a child to give and receive love may spend all of his life unsuccessfully trying to love.

From time to time in everyone's life the world and our situation in it changes. And, we are required to and to unlearn to fulfill our needs under different conditions and stresses.

It's been said that often a person seeks psychiatric help because he is lacking the most critical factor for fulfilling his needs -- a person whom he sincerely cares about and who he feels sincerely cares about him.

STRIKING A HAPPY MEDIUM ON TALK

By Olivene Godfrey

Being one who enjoys talking, and who may indeed be guilty of talking too much at times, I remembered recently an article I read many years ago in Life magazine on the subject of talking that I found both interesting and amusing.

The author, who admitted to being a compulsive talker, wrote of her attempts to find out what it's like to be completely silent. I laughed aloud when I read about the day she took a solitary hike up a mountain. Later, resting in the shade of a tree, she spied a lizard. "Hi Lizard, " she said, then clapping her brow in shame, as it was her second attempt that day in her vow to be silent. I could imagine myself speaking to the lizard as she did and her other attempts to discover the joys of silence.

While I confess that one of my favorite activities is engaging in conversation with interesting people, I also know the value of solitude. And lively conversation is so stimulating for me that I need the intervals of solitude to recover. I need the quiet times to think long thoughts, to rebuild my strength, to try to reach decisions after meditation.

But, too much solitude is not good for me. I discovered that during the years when my son was infant and a toddler. Living in a city where I knew few people, I spent almost all of my time with my child. I adored him and enjoyed caring for him and playing with him. But, when he about four-years-old, I realized that I was thinking, besides talking, on the level of the child. I was about like the woman who after being confined to her home with young children for several years attended an adult dinner party. To her dismay, she suddenly realized that she had told her dinner partner, "Now, you clean that plate good."

When I decided it was imperative that I engage in adult conversation, I'm afraid I overdid it for awhile. Every time I could latch onto a listener, I talked a blue streak.
I began to understand why the woman who had been my room-mate in the hospital when my child was born seemed to be a compulsive talker. She had just given birth to her fourth child, and during our waking hours, she talked constantly. She was an intelligent person with a fascinating background, and while I found her conversation interesting, I longed for just a bit of silence during my hospital stay.

I regret now that I wasn't a more sympathetic listener. I know it is true that the person who is a good listener is bound to be popular and greatly admired for all who need and want someone to listen, even if we aren't saying anything important. an old Latin proverb tells us to , "Keep quiet and people will think you are a philosopher." On the other hand, they may think you are either a dullard or that you are sulking.

A happy medium is an individual matter. For me, it's sort of an equal division of my time to talking and to solitude.

IT ISN"T EASY TO IMPRESS HOME FOLKS

By Olivene Godfrey

Most people discover sooner or later it isn't easy to impress the home folks. No matter how high a person may rise in the world, often people in his hometown, even his own family, don't appear to be very impressed with him or her.

There are probably many reasons why people are slow to recognize the achievements of their own. Maybe they still remember the famed person as, "that skinny , dumb kid, or "the shy child" or that person who was always a bit, "er, nuts". So, they find it hard to believe the person they once knew could be capable of achieving greatness.

Then, I've read of how some persons who have achieved fame have found upon returning to their hometown that old friends treat them with a certain aloofness. The old friends sometimes claim the celebrity has a , "big head." But, some of these famed individuals claim they are the same people they always were, that it's the old friends attitudes toward them have changed.
I suspect that often the old friends are a bit in awe of their hometown celebrity and perhaps a bit envious, too.

Many actors start out in life as shy people, afraid of others, and what others think of them. They compensate for their shyness by taking up a profession in which it is necessary to face people almost constantly. Too, they are somebody else while acting in a play or film. And, often after become successful, these people remain timid and unsure of themselves. So, they gain a reputation of being snobbish.

But, psychologists tell us that snobbery is a kind of wall that fearful people build around themselves and behind which they often cringe to keep others from finding out what they are really like. Such people, whether they are famous or not, need someone to bolster their self-confidence, so they'll dare to take down their own wall.

Oscar Wilde said, "Anyone can sympathize with the suffering of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."

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IS EDUCATION A WASTE OF TIME?

We all know persons who think that education is a waste of time.
the process of education is largely a process of teaching certain rules and standards which have been adopted through the long experience of the human race as being worth preserving.

But, just what are the values of a good education? Does a good education assure one of great success and wealth. Many people do equate education solely with success in the business world.

However, an important value of knowledge is that it helps us to understand other people and to accept their weaknesses and their strengths.

Another value is that knowledge aids us in finding peace within themselves. Persons who read and study, and who aren't afraid to try new things, are able to live with themselves and not be unhappy when alone. Knowledge helps us to be good citizens and to do the best work of which we are capable.

WHO IS TO SAY WHAT NORMAL IS?

By Olivene Godfrey

I guess we all learn early in life to keep some of our peculiar quirks or ideas to ourselves. We learn that we are supposed to at least appear to the world that we are "normal" in our ideas and actions.

But, who is to say what is normal? I suspect that many so-called normal persons have some of those quirks that they may keep undercover.

For as long as I can remember, I've had what I suppose could be called a peculiar quirk. And, I seldom mention it to anyone, except to other people who have admitted similar quirks to me. I've always thought that certain people whom I've known or met resemble either physically or by their actions animals. Then people who know me personally know that I am a mother tigress when it comes to my son. In defense of him, I would fearlessly battle an army. Throw the sticks and stones at me but beware of harmful acts or words where he is concerned, or I become the mama tigress.

Then, I know charming people who by their actions remind me of friendly, puppy dogs. I've also known people who remind me of cats (meow- they aren't all females either) and vultures and snakes,etc....

Some people who I admire and who aren't unattractive remind me of other animals such as monkeys, lions, tigers, giraffe, bears and deer.

Then, of course, there are people who I know my personal prejudices cause me to think of as skunks, rats, coyote, opossum, parasites, etc....

Now, animals have many characteristics that are similar to those of human beings. Some animals hide when they are in danger. Others play dead until an enemy goes away. Several kinds of animals have built-in armor to protect them. Most animals try to flee from their enemies. But, they usually fight when cut off from flight, or to protect their young.

Most of us have at one time or another come across human beings who remind of the chameleon, a type of lizard that can change color in a few seconds. They can quickly develop black spots or dark streaks or turn brown or gray. And, shrimps can take on the color of the seaweed in which they live. Sound like any humans you know?

Some animals have a shell or hard covering that they use as armor for protection. Other animals have quills or spines.
Clams, roaches, and snails pull back their shells and keep them tightly shut until danger passes.

Human beings have been compared to turtles. The only way we get ahead is by sticking our neck out. If the turtle wants to go somewhere he must put himself in a vulnerable spot. With his head tucked under his shell, few natural enemies can harm him. But when he wants to move he's in an exposed situation.
Truly, the human race has progressed on the backs of individuals who dared to stick their necks out. And the world needs people who will stick their necks out for the right.