GOOD MANNERS REQUIRE TACT
by OLIVENE GODFREY
Often I've said and written that to me good manners is simply being kind. And, I'm constantly amazed by people who haven't learned the art of giving and receiving kindness. Now there is a certain style to giving and receiving kindnesses. Most of us carefully wrap a package in lovely paper and ribbons. But, how much thought do we give to the gift itself. Remember how much you appreciate the thoughtful person who takes the time and uses his or her imagination to select a gift that is special to you.
Then, sometimes all of us are guilty of being tactless without meaning to cause another person embarrassment. But, when you approach a person you haven't seen for years, or perhaps a person whom you've only met once, it's wise to give your name first, rather than saying, "You don't remember me, do you?' Since that has happened to me often, and many times I don't remember the person, to my embarrassment. I introduce myself to people whom I may have once known quite well, but haven't seen in many years.
Now, whenever I think of good manners and kindnesses, I think of "personal questions". There are people who seem to have been born tactful. Then, there are others who no matter what they are told, or how often, they continue to offend consciously or unconsciously by asking a stream of too personal questions to the discomfort of all those with whom they come into contact.
Personal questions can be upsetting and embarrassing unless you are able to develop enough sophistication to handle such situations gracefully . I remember reading about the author who was asked by a person who obviously intended to wound: "Who wrote your book for you?" The author replied, "Who read it to you?"
But, most of us are probably better off to play it safe by pretending that no offense was intended. And, often the person who is asking questions is just tactless, and doesn't mean to be cruel. Often it seems that the warmest, most lovable, people have an innate feeling of what is right toward others.But, we should all remember Emerson's words: "Good manners. The happy way of doing things."
See you next time.
by OLIVENE GODFREY
Often I've said and written that to me good manners is simply being kind. And, I'm constantly amazed by people who haven't learned the art of giving and receiving kindness. Now there is a certain style to giving and receiving kindnesses. Most of us carefully wrap a package in lovely paper and ribbons. But, how much thought do we give to the gift itself. Remember how much you appreciate the thoughtful person who takes the time and uses his or her imagination to select a gift that is special to you.
Then, sometimes all of us are guilty of being tactless without meaning to cause another person embarrassment. But, when you approach a person you haven't seen for years, or perhaps a person whom you've only met once, it's wise to give your name first, rather than saying, "You don't remember me, do you?' Since that has happened to me often, and many times I don't remember the person, to my embarrassment. I introduce myself to people whom I may have once known quite well, but haven't seen in many years.
Now, whenever I think of good manners and kindnesses, I think of "personal questions". There are people who seem to have been born tactful. Then, there are others who no matter what they are told, or how often, they continue to offend consciously or unconsciously by asking a stream of too personal questions to the discomfort of all those with whom they come into contact.
Personal questions can be upsetting and embarrassing unless you are able to develop enough sophistication to handle such situations gracefully . I remember reading about the author who was asked by a person who obviously intended to wound: "Who wrote your book for you?" The author replied, "Who read it to you?"
But, most of us are probably better off to play it safe by pretending that no offense was intended. And, often the person who is asking questions is just tactless, and doesn't mean to be cruel. Often it seems that the warmest, most lovable, people have an innate feeling of what is right toward others.But, we should all remember Emerson's words: "Good manners. The happy way of doing things."
See you next time.
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